


Blood Doesn't Make You Family

by Typically_Numb



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Abuse, Anorexia, Child Abuse, Depression, F/F, F/M, Illnesses, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-09-25 17:26:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17125625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Typically_Numb/pseuds/Typically_Numb
Summary: Sirius Black returns for his fifth year at Hogwarts looking and feeling worse for wear: He's beaten, ill and anorexic. But that doesn't dampen his happy mood, he's estactic that finally he will spend another year with his friends. But secrets are coming out and arguments are to be had.Begins at Grimmauld Place where Sirius has a heated argument with his parents, causing a series of events.The beginning his heavily inspired by a Tumblr thread by @Asktheboywholived titled "Runaway" you should really check it out.





	1. You Are No Family Of Mine

Sirius leant closer to the transfiguration book in his lap, the words kept blurring together and his eyes kept drifting closed. He slapped his cheek gently and leant over to his bedside table, picking up his cold glass of water and taking a gulp. He hadn't realised how thirsty he was but the cool liquid felt like absolute bliss down his sore throat.

He picked up his quill and chewed on the end of it as he read over his piece of parchment, occasionally scribbling something out and writing something else, the only noise in the room was the scratching of his quill and his steady breaths.

It was a strange sight: Sirius Black sat on his bed, huddled around thousands of school books and doing homework. Being a troublemaker, he usually either didn't bother with homework or left It to the last minute; worst case scenario he'd leave it too late and beg Remus with puppy dog eyes to let him copy his. Remus usually gave in eventually.. 

But it was the Summer Holidays and Sirius was so incredibly bored that he was actually sitting down and doing his homework, after that he would  try to study if he didn't fall asleep instantly.

His peaceful boredom was soon interrupted by a shriek that sounded more like a banshee screech, something smashed and a male voice uttered something incoherent. "A MUGGLE!" Screeched the female voice once more.

Sirius groaned, dropped his quill and his parchment, walked over to the door and wrenched it open; almost ripping it off of it's weak hinges. "Oi! Some of us are trying to study!" He yelled and then slammed the door as hard as he could, making it rattle in the door frame. 

Sauntering back over to his bed and sitting down, he ran his hand through his long hair and tried to focus on his Potions revision; having given up on writing his Transfiguration essay.

"Sirius!" 

Sirius looked up at his door and tried to shrink into his bed, hoping that if he ignored the male voice then they wouldn't call again. He was wrong.

"SIRIUS!" 

He threw down his Potions textbook, opened his bedroom door and stormed down the stairs; ignoring the figure of his brother looking out of his bedroom curiously.

Walking into the living room was a disturbing sight, causing the raven haired boy to furrow his eyebrows. Walburga Black had her wand pointed at the Black family tree and her other hand placed tentatively on her chest. Following the direction of the wand, Sirius saw a smoking spot on the family tree, Andromeda's place now reduced to charcoal.

Finally his parents noticed him, Walburga lowered her wand and Orion held his arms behind his back "Sirius," began his father "Your mother and I have recently discovered your cousin's marriage, as you have most likely already and.. Well..." he paused to scan Sirius over.

"Well we want to make sure you don't make the same mistake." Walburga finished for him, a sense of hatred in her voice. She straightened her back to make herself taller than her son.

Sirius paused for a second as he pieced it together, then he sagged and glared "Arranged marriage..." He concluded, a curt nod from his father confirming it.

He rolled his eyes, took one glance around the room before lazily taking a don't-give-a-fuck-pose "Who?" He asked, raising his eyebrows cockily.

"Bellatrix." His father said instantly, his cold eyes burning holes in his son's head. He looked towards Walburga and took note of her nodding maliciously.

Sirius choked on his own saliva "Bellatrix? As in my cousin Bellatrix? No. Sorry but I'm not into that whole incest thing, you can keep your pure blood to yourselves." 

"Mind your tongue" Snarled Walburga, her face creasing into a cold blooded glare. Her long, bony fingers curled around her wand as she held it by her side.

Sirius clenched his fists and stomped his foot, similarly to a five year old's temper tantrum "I'm not fucking marrying Bellatrix!"

Orion slowly took a step forward, still using his full height and holding his hands behind his back "You will do what we tell you" he hissed in a disturbingly calm voice.

Walburga was certainly not as calm as her husband, she was quite the opposite "We will not have you sullying our bloodline! You are the heir to the ancient and Noble house of-"

"I don't want to be a Black.." Sirius cut her off, his eyes blazing furiously with hell fire. He crossed his arms and stood up straight, as if challenging his parents. He was taller than his mother and gaining on his father.

His mother looked like she was about to explode, she was running her right index finger over her engagement ring on her left hand. Her lips were pursed and she kept opening her mouth then closing it again.

The raven haired boy sighed dramatically and slinked his position to lean more on one foot "I know, I know... I'm such a disappointment" he smirked cheekily and ran his top teeth over his bottom lip.

"I'm sorry, but you know.. I just can't seem to help myself, must be the inbreeding" the graceful swish of his head and the slow movement of his arm reaching up to push his hair to one side was so cocky that he was honestly shocked that he hadn't already been sent to his room.

Walburga glared, her grey eyes seeming to darken further "You will not spread our bloodline to filth, boy." She spat, a finality to her voice. Her movements were rigid, as if she was restraining herself from flailing her arms around like a mad woman.

Sirius's lips curled teasingly "Bit late for that, mumsy dear.." He set his eyes on her, not looking away once. His smirk broadened at the look of confusion on his mother's face "I've been with them all, Muggles.. men..." He could almost smell the anger radiating off of his mother.

"Halfbreeds, muggleborns. I like 'em all. If you think I give two shits about keeping the Black family pure then you are sadly mistaken" His challenging stand off was soon put to a end as Orion threw himself forward and his fist collided with his son's cheek.

Sirius stumbled backwards, a little taken aback. He brought his hand up to his mouth and spat out blood into his palm, the metal of his father's Black family ring had cut deeply into his cheek bone. Sure Orion had hit him before, both of his parents had, but only a slap.. Not usually hard enough to draw blood.

His nose crinkled slightly in disgust, blood running down his lip onto his chin "Fuck you.." He muttered, just loud enough for his parents to hear.

Walburga lurched toward her eldest son, wand pointed directly at his chest and her eyes crazed "Crucio!" A pale green, almost white light filled the room as the spell blasted from her wand and hit her son square in the chest.

Sirius, having not expected the sudden outburst, didn't notice the spell for a second. His eyes widened at the spark of magic spiralled towards him, he felt paralyzed, unable to move until the spell hit him.

He screamed, as loud as he could and for as long as he could. His face scrunched up in agony as white hot pain erupted from behind his skull and with a aching slowness, crept throughout his body. His body felt like it was on fire and all his bones had been snapped. 

It didn't take long for the pain to get so bad that he dropped to his knees, his hands colliding with the stone floor and his nails scraping against it. He hadn't even noticed when the spell was lifted, he panted heavily and gulped down air.

It was too late when he finally realised what was happening, his mother was giving him a break to lure him into a false sense of security. "Crucio!" She yelled much louder than the first time, he was thrown onto his back by the impact.

Once again his own screams of agony filled his ears, filled the room, filled the entire house. His voice became hoarse pretty quickly and  began to crack pathetically. A loud ringing began to take over his brain, leaving his screams to a mere fuzzy memory. Every thing sounded like it was coming from behind a heavily built brick wall.

The pain slowly faded out, leaving him shaking and half unconscious on the cold stone floor. He felt weak and pathetic, he breathed heavily and found that even the rise and fall of his chest hurt. Eventually his sight began to return and the first thing he saw was his brother at the doorway, staring down at him with a horrified expression on his face.

Sirius pushed himself to roll onto his side to get the attention of his brother "Regulus.." He croaked, his voice cracking and disappearing half way through. He mentally urged his brother to stand up to their parents "Reg.." He tried again, a feeble attempt but his voice carried out and he knew that he heard it. The younger brother slowly walked backwards out of the doorway and the soft sound of his footsteps up the staircase could be heard "Regulus!" He attempted once more, his voice was hoarse but he managed to amplify it as much as possible.

But his attempts grabbed the attention of the wrong person, Orion took two steps towards his eldest son and kicked him hard in the stomach so he rolled onto his back and gasped for air. He then placed his black boot heavily on the boy's chest, further cutting off his breath. He leant down and whispered so softly yet so viciously that it was almost disturbing "You will always be a Black.." With that he left the room, Walburga close behind.

With no one to worry about, Sirius lay there, weak and clinging desperately onto consciousness. His ragged breaths were a feeble attempt at keeping awake. He began to see black spots in his vision, too exhausted to stop them, he watched them fade in and soom he succumbed numbly to the dark abyss of the unconscious.

_**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~** _

**Well that was my first chapter of my new story, sorry it's a bit dramatic and the writing kind of fall to pieces towards the end. I began writing this before dinner and was determined to finish before going to sleep. I will begin the second chapter as soon as possible (future readers can jusr click next chapter).**


	2. Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius claws his way through the last days of Summer Holidays at Grimmauld Place, clinging onto the fact that he would soon be at Hogwarts with his friends. His parents seem to neglect him far more than just ignoring.
> 
> Underlined italics symbolises dreams, italics symbolises writing, bold is author speech, " is speaking while ' is thoughts.

 

* * *

When Sirius next awoke he was still alone, laying weakly upon the living room carpet. Everything ached, like he had been stung by a thousand wasps. For a few minutes, he just laid there; blinking obliviously.

He just felt numb, despite his body feeling as though it was on fire, he couldn't feel anything. After a while he gathered the energy to pull himself up, wincing as his limbs screamed at him.

The room blurred together and his head spun, all he wanted to do was just lay down and fall back asleep. But he was determined to move, he pushed onto his knees and paused to take a deep intake of breath.

Waiting a second for his eyes to focus once more, he dug his nails into the carpet, preparing himself for what he was about to do. As soon as he could see clear enough, he hauled himself up.

Sirius stumbled, grabbing hold of the arm of the sofa as he went. The room lurched and he felt as though he was going to be sick. It took a few minutes but eventually he found the strength to move one foot in front of the other.

If any normal person, a muggle possibly, were to see him now they would think he was drunk. He was crashing into everything, tripping over tables that he would usually be able to avoid.

He could see the staircase in front of him, now he just needed to make his way up them. He stumbled towards them and paused in front of them before he began to climb.

One step, two steps, three steps. He felt sick, black spots kept fading into his vision. Four steps, five steps, six steps. Had he even moved? He felt like he was still at the bottom of the stairs.

Eight steps, nine steps. Everything was slowing down yet going too fast all at the same time, his eyes started to close as if they were in fight or flight mode. His body just gave up: His feet fell out from underneath him like someone had yanked the carpet, his arm reached out for the banister but his fingers barely brushed against it.

Falling. It was a strange feeling. The way your stomach flips in a nervous state, the way your body either goes rigid or limp, the way your body just gives up in the end. It's sort of a thrill, until you hit the floor.

But Sirius didn't hit the cold, stone floor. Instead he met warmth, strong arms held him around the shoulders and pushed him to stand up. He mumbled something incoherent, something short of a groan or a thank you.

Ten steps, eleven steps, twelve steps. He wasn't controlling anything, at least that's how it felt. He could tell that his legs were moving but he felt so numb that he couldn't tell if he was walking or being dragged.

Thirteen steps, fourteen steps, fifteen steps. His eyes remained closed, his body felt as though whatever was happening wasn't worth seeing. He wanted to know who the figure was but he was also too scared to.

He couldn't count the rest of the steps, he felt too numb to keep count. Eventually he made it to the top of the stairs and the figure pushed him against the wall for support.

Finally Sirius opened his eyes and gazed at the person, for a second he thought he was stood in front of a mirror until he noticed slight differences between himself and the boy.

The boy was slightly shorter than Sirius, his hair barley tickled his shoulders while Sirius' had grown at least four centimetres past his own, the boy's features were a little more rounded as he hadn't quite grown into them yet while Sirius' were sharp. 

It was his brother, "Hey Reg.." He croaked out. A small, feeble smile creeping onto his handsome features. He leant his head to the side, shook his hair out of the way then stood straight against the wall.

"Sirius.." Regulus nodded curtly, his form of greeting. He soon faltered and let his worry show through the mask "Are you okay? I can't belive mother did that-" he was cut off by his brother holding up his hand.

Sirius shook his head "Don't pity me, if you really wanted to stop it then you would have helped." He pressed one hand against the wall to push himself up straighter, he knew his brother just stopped him from tumbling down the stairs but he had brought it up.

Regulus opened his mouth to respond then closed it again and looked down "I'm sorry, Sirius" he looked up and straightened his back "But how could I have helped? They would have just done the same to me and what would that have done?"

"No they wouldn't, they love you. I'm their little disappointment, but you are their future heir once I'm out of the way." Sirius snapped harshly, he regretted it afterwards and chewed his bottom lip.

His brother paused, clearly thinking deeply. He looked off to the side before meeting Sirius' eyes "I'm not like you, I'm not brave and I'm too scared to fight our parents like you can" it all came rushing out like he had been given veritaserum.

Sirius' shoulders slacked and for a second he just gazed into his brother's stormy eyes, then he bent down and hugged him "It's alright, I'm sorry." When he let go he decided to change the subject "Where's mother dearest and father Satan?" The nicknames came almost instantly and a small grin played on his lips.

Even Regulus smiled a little at the joke but tried to hide it "They've gone to Knockturn Alley to stock up on potion supplies and meet up with the Malfoy's" he answered simply.

Sirius nodded thoughtlessly before pushing himself from the wall "Well, I'm not sure about you but I'm going to bed. I feel like a big pile of Hippogriff shit." He said with a smile before turning on his heel and walking into his room.

He waited for a second, making sure Regulus didn't stay outside his door: He heard the faint footsteps, the close of his door and the creak of his bed springs as his brother sat down on it. Feeling satisfied, Sirius repeated the same actions: Closed the bedroom and walked over to his bed.

He picked up the duvet and shook it, tipping all the homework and the textbooks onto the floor. Since Sirius had left the ink pot open, all the ink was dry so it just landed innocently among the rest of the clutter.

He placed the duvet down once more and climbed in, snuggling into the bed despite the aching pain still littering his body. Not long after his head had hit the pillow had he fallen asleep.

_ Sirius walked down the dark corridor, his wand in hand and a stern look upon his face. Somehow he had lost his friends while sneaking around the school during the night and wandered into a unknown part of the school. Of course James had the map and the cloak so if Filch found him then he would be done for. _

_ He didn't even understand how they were separated, one minute they were heading towards the kitchens the next minute they were gone and the corridor had gotten so much darker.  _

_ Another thing was that he had never seen this part of the castle before, Remus (with a little help from the others) had stalked the castle for weeks trying to get every corner and hidden passageway on there. He would be sure to tell Remus about this one so he could add it, that was if he could get out of here and back to the Gryffindor common room. _

_ A staircase loomed ominously in front of him, inviting him to climb it, its steps seemed to never end, they just kept going up. This would definitely be something interesting to add to the map, he wanted so desperately to know what was up there. But what if it was something dangerous? That was why he always went around the castle with his friends during the night, unless it was the kitchens he was heading to: They all knew the way there off by heart, clearly that information hadn't been in his favour this particular time._

_ He could have sworn the stairs were talking to him, calling him, luring him forward. This was no ordinary staircase, or maybe it was? Maybe he was just losing his mind. He needed to know what was up there, maybe it was a secret tower that held hidden treasure, or a hostage that he had to free?  All he knew for sure was that he needed to know. _

_ His curiosity was going to be the death of him some day: He took a tentative stride up the staircase, then another, then another. He just seemed to keep going, in fact he didn't even feel in control of his own limbs. It was as if he was being controlled, like the imperius curse. Whatever was up there just seemed so inviting that it was carrying him upwards. _

_ Twenty-One more steps to go, Twenty more steps to go. All he could see at the top was a long hallway, he couldn't yet see what it lead to. Nineteen more steps to go, eighteen more steps to go. Butterflies began to form in his stomach. Seventeen more steps, sixteen more steps, nothing. _

_ His stomach flipped before he even felt the drop, his foot sunk through the next step and then his entire body was falling. He could see all the portraits flying past him, shaking their heads at him. The air was gushing past him like he was in the middle of a tornado, twisting and turning uncontrollably. Several times he felt his hand smack against a bannister or a window sill but not once could he grab hold of one. _

_ He shut his eyes, he didn't want to feel the impact when it came. _

_ And then he landed on carpet, not stone floor. His fingers dug into the soft bristles, his fingers seeming to be the only part of him that was able to move, His back stung where he had landed even though the fall had been cushioned slightly. The landing had being quicker than expected, like when you apparate or use a portkey for the first time. _

_ Click. _

_ Click. _

_ Click. _

_ Walburga glared down at him, her black-lipstick-covered lips pursing in disgust as though Sirius was something nasty on the bottom of her shoe. "I. Will. Make you. A Black" she spat, pausing every so often for emphasis. She raised her wand and, without bending down or anything, screamed at the top of her lungs "CRUCIO!" _

_ Excruciating pain littered his body like someone had cast Maxima on bee stingers and set them on him, then set his body on fire, then stabbed him a thousand times. The worst pain a human could experience. He began to shake uncontrollably all over as screams forced their way out of his mouth. He couldn't even hear his own screaming, everything had gone deathly silent. _

_ And then he was falling again, he seemed to slip through the carpet, through the floorboards. Tumbling, flipping, twisting. The feeling felt similar but it didn't last long, he landed on his bed; the familiar old bedsprings creaking as he did. _

_ This time he couldn't even move his hands; he was just a ghost to his body, watching and experiencing everything it went through. The bed felt nice against his aching back but he still felt unnerved, like something had to happen. _

_ Click. _

_ Click. _

_ Click. _

_ There it was. It had been too eerily quiet and peaceful for nothing to happen. He laid there, unwillingly motionless as whoever had just entered his room walked closer towards him. He seemed to have gained control of his eyes and was able to turn them to look as closely as possible to where the person was but they were too far away. _

_ He wanted so desperately to be able to turn his head, to speak, to do anything! But instead he just had to wait for whatever was going to happen, to happen.  _

_ Finally the figure stood at his bedside and he was able to see that it was Regulus, he gave a sigh of relief at the realisation.. That was until he noticed slight changes in the boy's features. He was using his full height, which he never used when he was alone with Sirius; his arms were straight at their sides; his neck was upright; he was poised; his lips were curled in the same disgusted expression as Walburga and his stormy eyes were dark and emotionless. _

_ Sirius wanted to speak, to ask if his brother was okay, to ask what their parents had done to him. But of course he couldn't, yet still the question seemed to be answered for him without needing to ask it.  _

_ Regulus leaned over him, his arm stretched out as his long fingered curled around Sirius' throat. Suddenly he gained control of his own body but he was weak and Regulus was obviously much stronger, he reached up and held his hand around his brother's wrist.  _

_ He couldn't breathe, his lungs screamed at him for air but he couldn't provide. He made a spluttering noise and gasped for air but all that did was make his brother press his hand down harder. He kept choking, his body giving a feeble attempt of stealing small gasps of air. _

_ Sirius began to see black spots at the side of his vision and a deafening ringing noise filled his ears "Reg.." He barely croaked, unable to hear himself and unable to get enough air. His brother didn't seem to be able to hear him either as he just kept his hand tight around his throat. _

_ As everything blurred together, the black spots grew and took over his entire sight. The ringing became unbearably loud that he couldn't hear anything else. _

_ But then it went silent. For a second nothing happened and then he could hear and see again, he was standing opposite Regulus at the side of his bed and he could see the scene taking place. His own body was pale and limp, Regulus had let go of his throat and was now using his index finger to push Sirius' body's chin to the side. _

_ Then the graceful boy turned on his heel and began to stride out of the room, leaving his brother's dead body and whatever the fuck you could call Sirius right now alone in the room. _

_ "Regulus!" Sirius yelled as he watched the back of his brother "Regulus!!" he yelled once more as the entire room started to get further away, he just kept flying backwards. His brother turned around but it wasn't the brother he knew: He was grinning maniacally at Sirius, his skin was pale and his eyes; well his eyes were red and snake-like. _

_ "REGULUS!" _

"Regulus!" Sirius woke up screaming, his voice hoarse and he threw himself to sit up. He panted, staring in front of him for a few minutes as he went over what just happened. Then he looked down at his hands and then behind him at his bed, it was his bed and no dead body was laying in it. So it had just been a dream?

Speak of the devil, Regulus jogged into the room, looking panicked. But it was definitely Regulus, his baby brother: His eyes held worry and care deep within them, not hatred; he was slouched ever so slightly; his shoulders were slacked; his lips weren't curled; his skin wasn't pale and his eyes were grey not red.

"What? What is it?" He asked as he scanned Sirius over for anything siriuslywrong. After finding nothing fatal he took a few seconds before coming to a conclusion "Nightmare?" he asked carefully, earning a nod from his older brother.

Regulus held up one finger as he left the room. A few seconds passed before he returned with a glass of water and set it down on Sirius' bedside table next to the empty one from last night, he had a little trouble winding his way around the room due to Sirius' very neat (not) way of packing up his school stuff. He bent down and picked everything up, placing it all on his desk.

Sirius let a small smile play on his lips "Hey, who says I don't like it like that?" he joked as he climbed out of the bed, still in his muggle clothes from yesterday. In two long strides due to his long legs he made it over to the desk and picked up the potions text book, he held it out in front of him with both hands for a second just for dramatic effect before dropping it onto the floor.

His brother rolled his eyes and smiled "Don't come crying to me when you get a broken leg from slipping on something" He shook his head and nudged the book with his foot "Mother and father have gone out again to gather some last minute supplies for dinner with the Malfoy's and our cousins" He notified Sirius.

"God, you sound like Remus..." Sirius said without really thinking about it, he had never mentioned his fellow Marauders at home, not since Orion had slapped him and locked him in his room for a day because he found out that Sirius was hanging out with blood traitors. ~~~~"Oh please kill me now, end my suffering! Narcissa and that Lucius guy in the same room? I'll puke before the end of the day."

Regulus chuckled and shook his head again, his hair flicking majestically over his shoulder "How ever shall you survive? You poor warrior." He joined in and got down on his knees for emphasis "I pray for your soul, for your life and for your Remus to finally notice you" He snuck in the little joke with a sly grin.

Sirius grinned along with it and placed his hand over his heart with a mock dramatic expression until his brother mentioned Remus "Hey wait- I'm not- get out!" Getting flustered, he took to yanking his brother up and pushing him out of the doorway. He then slammed the door and paused.

He could hear the little shit laughing on the other side "You better get your ass moving before I come out there and push you down the stairs!" Sirius called out, a clear playful tone in his voice as he did so. He listened again and felt satisfied when he heard footsteps and the door across the hallway shut. "Little shit.." He muttered.

But then he really did get thinking. Did he like Remus? No, he wasn't gay.. He couldn't be gay... Nevermind, he wasn't going to cloud his mind with intrusive thoughts. He needed something to distract himself... Aha! He would write letters to his friends 'But that includes Remus' Of course it does, Remus is his friend but nothing more.

Sirius sat down at his desk, lifted a piece of plain parchment from the neat stack and placed it down, he then opened an ink pot (not a dried out one) and dipped his quill into it.

_Dear Prongs_

Scratch that, too formal.

 ~~~~_~~Dear Prongs~~ Prongs, _

_How has your summer been? I've been spending most of it either trying to annoy my parents or avoid them_

He contemplated telling James about the incident with his mother and the dream on him but decided against it, James didn't need that burden.

_~~Dear Prongs~~  Prongs, _

_How has your summer been? I've been spending most of it either trying to annoy my parents or avoid them. I have recently found out that if you drop a couple spider legs and a little bit of wolfsbane into tequila then it causes a giant explosion, it was amazing no matter how pissed off my parents were. I decided that as soon as possible we need to stock up on dungbombs and other prank supplies, fancy an early trip to Hogsmeade when we get to school? Speaking of school, I can't believe I'm going to say it and don't get all dramatic on me "Padfoot's gone mad!" so get your shock out of the way.. I'm actually kind of missing school, god could you imagine Moony's reaction if he ~~heard me say that~~ saw me write that? Anyway, ought to go because I need to write the rest of the letters, reply as soon as possible._

_-The Heir to The Most Ancient and Noble House of Dicks._

He folded the parchment in half, shoved it in an envelope along with a long-lasting bubblegum then sealed it and placed it to his side where he would form a pile of letters.

_Wormtail,_

_How has your summer been so far? Heard you went to spain, you lucky arse, you better bring souvenirs_ :)  _I'm planning an early Hogsmeade trip when we get to school, feel like joining? We need to stock up on prank supplies. Pester Prongs for me, I don't have time to but I can't let him have a peaceful summer, if you can then send lots of letters to him. Anyway, ~~see you~~ talk to you when you reply. still have to write Moony's letter._

_-The Heir to The Most Ancient and Noble House of Dicks._

Again he folded the parchment, shoved it in an envelope with a complementary long-lasting bubblegum, sealed it and dropped it on top of James' letter. Peter's letter was significantly shorter than James' but that didn't mean he felt any less about Peter, he just didn't have as much to say.

_Moony,_

_Had a good summer? I felt bad about the full moon so here's a Honeydukes chocolate bar, ~~~~can't wait to see ~~~~everyone. Prongs will probably be writing a letter to you about this anyway but I wanted to tell you that a miracle happened, I told him I missed school, I know right? Such a shocker, I can see you smirking Moons. But I really do, my family is so stuck up that I felt overwhelmed. Anyway, enough complaining. I can't wait to piss you off in classes again and get ourselves into trouble, though I can't believe you're in line to become a prefect; thank god it didn't happen this year. Imagine if someone caught a prefect sneaking off with us in the middle of the night. Anyway, see you._

_-The Heir to The Most Ancient and Noble House of Dicks._

For the last time. Sirius folded the parchment, put it into a envelope, attached a honeydukes chocolate bar instead of bubble gum, sealed it and added it to the pile. Finally he went through and wrote all the names and addresses on the letters and picked them up. He left his room and walked over to Orion's office, thank Merlin his parents weren't home yet because they would kill him if they caught him in there.

In three long strides he had made it over to the owl cage and opened the door, he gave an owl treat to the eagle owl and then held out his arm for the owl to hop onto. The family owl was quite decisive when it came to liking Sirius, one day he might and the next he might not. Thankfully today he hopped onto his arm and let the boy carry him over to the window.

With one hand (and a lot of difficulty) he tied the letters to the eagle owl's leg and held his arm out of the window, the owl took flight and flew into the distance. Sirius stood there for a few minutes, his hands in his pockets as he watched the owl disappear.

"What are you doing in here?" A deep, stern voice questioned. 

Sirius hadn't even heard them come in, he spun around and stared at Orion with a little bit of surprise showing on his face. He soon fixed it though, standing up straight and forcing himself to look emotionless "I was just sending off some letters."

Orion took a few steps forward, not quite getting too close to his eldest son but still making him uncomfortable "Sending letters to you blood traitor, mudblood friends?" He questioned again. Sirius knew what he was doing, he was trying to provoke him, Sirius' job was just to try and stay calm.

"Answer me!" He yelled, making Sirius jump but yet he still kept his mouth closed and his posture straight "Playing hard to get are we?" the older man rhetorically asked, obviously not expecting an answer. He only just noticed it now but his father's words were slightly slurred and despite keeping his back straight, he wasn't walking very neatly.

"I was simply sending letters, why is it any of your business what I do? You've already made it clear that you don't care" Sirius said calmly, not meeting his father's eyes. He wasn't exactly defending himself..

Orion closed the distance between the two of them in one long stride, he pushed Sirius against the wall and tapped his index finger against the boy's chest "You listen here, you don't get to talk to me like that" as they were face to face, Sirius could smell the alcohol on Orion's breath and cringed. His father's voice was disturbingly calm yet menacing.

Sirius looked down at his shoes, if he didn't look at his father then he couldn't retaliate. He had never felt so small before.

"Look at me.." Orion said, in a sickly calm voice "Look at me!" He repeated, louder when Sirius didn't do anything. When the boy stayed staring at the floor he brought his hand up and yanked his chin up with his index finger and thumb, forcing Sirius to look him in the eyes.

"Get off of me" Sirius finally struggled, managing to get Orion's hand off of his chin. But the stronger, older man just used his entire hand to hold his face this time. That way Sirius could not escape.

Orion's gaze bore deeply into his eyes, so strictly that Sirius was certain that he was burning holes into them. Without warning Orion brought up his free hand and punched his son hard in the jaw, his many rings digging in and cutting at the skin. He had let go of Sirius' chin when he did so, so the boy had no support and no choice but to fall.

Sirius landed on his hip and winced as blood gushed into his mouth, he spat some out then looked up at his father with a disgusted expression "What kind of father are you?" He asked challengingly, narrowing his eyes accusingly.

His so called father obviously didn't appreciate that comment as he kicked Sirius hard in the stomach "You need to learn some respect" he slurred, wobbling slightly as he put his foot back down on the floor.

Winded, Sirius clutched his stomach and scrunched his face up. Another kick, then another, then another. One hand protecting his stomach and the other protecting his head, he could feel the bruises rising to the surface.

His hands were getting plenty of blows, after the forth kick they were bloody and swollen. All that was going through his head was why. Why were his parenrs so angry? Why couldn't they leave him alone? Why was he such a disappointment?

The last question left him stunted for a second, so long that he almost couldn't feel the violent kicks. He was a disappointment, not because he was a bad person but because his family were. He was a disappointment because he wasn't big headed and an asshole. He was a disappointment because he didn't conform to the dickheaded-ness of The House Of Black.

So lost in his thoughts, Sirius didn't even notice that his father had stopped kicking him until he opened his eyes. Orion stood tall above him with his arms crossed, finally he crouched down and picked his son up by the collar of his shirt.

Sirius stared at him, emotionless. He put his hand weakly on his father's wrist where held his shirt tightly in his fist. He panted desperately as he waited for his father to say or do something.

"Go clean yourself up." Orion snapped and then let go of the collar, dropping Sirius in the process. The boy's back collided with the stone with a loud cracking noise and his hand fell onto his stomach. 

He listened to the sound of his father leaving the room, the clicking of his shoes getting quieter as he did so. Despite being beaten to a pulp, he felt satisfied; he hadn't let his father win.

After a few minutes he hauled himself up and stumbled to the door, everything hurt and he was pretty sure one of his eyes was swollen shut. He made his way over to the bathroom then closed and locked the door.

He wrestled with his clothes but eventually managed to strip them off, they were soaked with blood and therefore useless now. He dropped them into the bin with a disgusted look.

Sirius didn't even glance at the mirror as he walked past, he knew he looked like shit and quite frankly just wanted to wash the blood off. He climbed into the shower and turned the water on hot, so much so that it was pratically singing his skin but it felt nice. He gently cleaned his body with a sponge, careful to avoid applying too much pressure to the bruises.

After a while he just gave up, he sat crosslegged under the shower head and let the water trickle onto his head and push his hair into his eyes. Maybe this was the one way he could be alone, just for a little while.


	3. Secret Escape To Potter's.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stupid habits begin to form deep within Sirius and he finds if difficult to get out of them, one might say...  
> Impossible.  
> Sirius escapes Grimmauld Place and makes it to James' house, however he refuses to tell the boy what happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah! I haven't posted in ages, I'm so sorry. I've been really busy with school and rugby so I haven't had a chance to get onto my laptop to write. However I have been writing in my notebook so I have some rough ideas for this chapter, thank you so much for all the support and for all of you for sticking with me.

There was a loud knock at the door.

Sirius looked up from the base of the shower and glared at the door as if willing it to stay closed and ward off whoever stood behind it. Another knock resounded at the door, this time followed by a voice "Sirius? Sirius come on you have to leave at some point."

It was his brother...

He clenched his fists while staring at the door, wishing to bore through it and repel Regulus as far away as possible. In a swift motion he ran his hand through his hair before standing up and switching off the shower, immediately feeling the loss of warmth.

Standing up, he felt a wave of dizziness and almost doubled over. He placed one hand on the wall and the other on his forehead, waiting for the room to stop spinning.

"Sirius?" The voice questioned, as though they sensed that something was wrong. Regulus sounded desperate yet worried at the same time.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine. Just give me a second" Sirius finally responded, stepping out from under the shower head "If you want to see me so badly would you at least grab some clothes from my room?" He heard the soft tapping of footsteps and the loud creaking of the floor boards as Regulus walked away.

Sirius rubbed his hair with another towel and looked into the mirror as he did so, he looked like shit. His cheeks were hollowed slightly, his yellowish eyes were dimmed and bruises decorated his body from head to toe.

He twirled his wand in his right hand as he decided what spell to use first to better his appearance, he whispered something under his breath and soon his hair was dry and brushed. Then he scrunched up his eyes, focussing on doing the spell non-verbally, when he re-opened them he had colour in his cheeks, good enough for now.

Just in time too, a third knock at the door pounded his ears to signify the Regulus had retrieved the clothes. Sirius walked forward and unlocked the door, he barely stuck his arm out and once he felt the clothes in his hand he retracted it. Quickly dressing, he opened the door completely and looked at his brother in full "What is it?"

"Can we talk?" Regulus answered immediately and looked around cautiously "Your room, father's downstairs passed out on the sofa and mother is trying to sober him." The boy confirmed and glanced up the second staircase where their parents' bedroom was.

Sirius nodded "Alright then" he didn't have the energy to argue with his brother or disagree with anything, he dragged his feet along the carpet to cross the landing towards his own bedroom. His legs suddenly felt like they had large weights attached to them.

He collapsed down on his bed and rested his head on the pillow, he was so tempted to fall asleep that he didn't even notice the two letters laying innocently on his desk. He glanced up at Regulus and pushed himself to sit up.

"So what is-" 

"You can't marry Bellatrix." His brother ushered out before Sirius could even finish his sentence "She has a plan to murder you as soon as she has legal control after you, that way I'll be the heir. You simply can not marry her."

Sirius looked taken aback, every desire to fall asleep was completely removed from his brain "Kill.. Me?" He questioned "Why does she need to marry me before she can do it?" For some reason that was his first inquiry, not 'How do I stop this?'

"Because if it backfires and the ministry catch onto her, she can act as a disdained widow and pretend you died of natural causes. Afterall, the killing curse leaves no trace." Regulus responded, shaking his head "But if not then the ministry can trace it right back to her."

The eldest black paused for a second as he took in all of the information, he looked down at his hands and went over it all "And how do you know so much about this?" He asked and glanced up towards his brother.

"I heard mother, Uncle Cygnus and Aunt Druella talking about it while Mother cooked dinner," Then he jumped "Oh, that reminds me. You missed dinner so I grabbed something for you." He pulled two pieces of bread out of his pocket "Sorry it's not much, mother was watching me like a hawk."

He passed Sirius the food and waited for him to eat something. Sirius, however, didn't eat it. Instead he placed it down on his bedside table and looked back at his brother: His stomach flipped at the thought of food right now but it didn't matter anyway, his jaw was too bruised to eat anything right now; it hurt to even speak.

"Thanks.." He spoke nonchalantly "And thanks for warning me, trust me I wouldn't marry her even if I was straight" a slight smile crept onto his face.

"So you admit it! You do love that Lupin boy!" Regulus exclaimed, grinning before backing away and leaving the room "Sleep, idiot, you're making this place even more depressing."

Sirius smiled and shook his head, trust his brother to make this about Remus. That's when his heart leapt, he finally noticed the two letters and stood up from his bed. In two strides he made it over to the desk, picking up the first one.

In Remus' neat cursive writing, 'Sirius Black' was written on the back.

_Sirius,_

_My summer was okay, full moon aside. Thanks for the chocolate bar but you don't have to feel sorry, it wasn't your fault that you couldn't be there. I'm excited to see you three again too. Prongs did definitely write a letter to me, he's astonished and begged me to send you some muggle medicine to fix you. I'm honestly shocked too but I feel the same, it hasn't been right not having you guys at my side. Sorry about your family, I know how they  can be but at least we go back to Hogwarts soon. Oh I am both not excited and thrilled to cause mischief again, not really that delighted to get in detention but there is no escaping that is there? Anyway, talk to you soon._

_-Moony_

Sirius grinned at the letter and shook his head, trust Moony to try to act all innocent. There was no way he was letting the werewolf have a calm school year.

He placed the letter back down on the desk and picked up the other one, this one had 'Sirius  ~~Prick~~ Black' written on the back in scruffy handwriting, so obviously James'.

_Pads,_

_Good on you for annoying your parents, I can see why you would avoid them, bloody pricks. Wow, how about we try that out in potions this year? I'm sure we can do it secretly enough and I already know it won't be difficult for you to find the tequila, you sneaky little shit. Merlin I thought you would never ask, we need to go to Hogsmeade as soon as possible! Though I'm not sure how all of us will fit under the cloak, once we're out of the castle you could probably transform. Moony told me you had gone mad, I'm honestly disappointed in you Padfoot. All jokes aside though, I miss it too. You ought to come to mine, it's nearly the last day of break and I'm sure you're dying to get out of your hell hole._

_-Prongs  
_

Sirius smiled at the crumpled parchment, the thought of how they got here so fast was pushed right to the back of his head. He wanted to reply right away but he was so tired.

His eyes began to droop from exhaustion, the events of the day finally catching up to him. James' letter still clutched in his hand, he began to stumble backwards as the room drifted into a blurry and dark state. He barely landed on his bed before he fell asleep.

 

* * *

 

 

It started with missing a meal because he was so tired that he couldn't leave his bed, it was not being able to eat because his jaw was bruised in the shape of his father's fist, it was feeling too sick to eat, it was not wanting to eat out of the fear of the food being poisoned. It was being completely forgotten about but so loathed at the same time.

Sirius lay completely still in his bed, not wanting to move and cause another bruise, or cut, or anything to ache more than it has to. His father had gotten drunk again and angry over his position at the ministry being threatened.. Well the rest of the story is pretty clear by looking at his eldest son.

His stomach growled and he placed his hand on it to drown out the noise at least a little. He was hungry, that was for sure. But some aches were more prominent than others, so he remained in his bed.

Finally, he could feel his eyes drifting closed for the first time in a few days. James' letter was held in his hand again, it was like some sort of comfort to him. Yet he still couldn't bring up the strength to respond.

He let his body go limp, he let his eyelids close, he let his breathing grow steady. He let himself fall asleep. Because for the first time in a few days, he was left alone to rest.

Everything went peacefully black as he glided into the blissful abyss of unconsciousness. That was.. Until...

A loud, blaring, screech of a noise filled the room as though it was displayed by muggle speakers. Subconsciously, Sirius covered his ears and felt the crumpled parchment brush against his skin; James' letter still held in his hand.

As the room began to fade into focus Sirius noticed that the noise wasn't just random, it was a voice. A very distinctively annoying voice, one he shouldn't be hearing at this time at this place.

Blinking sleep from his eyes, he sat up and ran his hand through his hair. The curtains were still open, having not been closed before he had fallen asleep; his room was pitch black; and the sky outside was still dark. It was late at night still.

"Sirius... Sirius. Padfoot, Pads! Come on Pads. Merlin's sake Sirius, answer me!"

Sirius listened to the voice without really thinking, he still couldn't identify the voice. Well he could, but he couldn't pick out the name. But one thought suddenly struck him.

James.

Groaning faintly, he hauled himself to sit up and rubbed his eyes. He reached his arm under the bed for his school satchel and groped around for the familiar feeling, finally coming in contact with the cool metal he held on and pulled.

Eventually he came face to face with the distinctive face of James fucking Potter. "Finally, Merlin what took you so long? Did you get my letter? Because you're coming to mine whether you like it or not." 

"Yeah.. Yeah I got it, sorry I fell asleep then completely forgot about it. Are you sure you want me to come because it's going to take some sneaking out," Sirius replied coolly.

"Alright, pack your bags and prepare your fireplace. I'm opening my parents' one in a few minutes" Before Sirius could even reply, the hyper boy disappeared and his face was replaced by his own reflection.

He sighed and laid the mirror down by his side. Sirius finally stood up and dragged his satchel out from underneath his bed.

Here it goes, attempt at escape to freedom. Packing his bag and trunk was pretty easy, seeing as the only items he had removed were a certain array of homework materials and his mirror. 

Being in a pureblooded house had it's perks. The ministry couldn't trace underage magic because they were so many witches and wizards in there that are of age. The ministry had given up long ago.

Sirius muttered a simple  _Wingardium Leviosa_ to levitate his trunk and hung his satchel around his neck, he held his wand up with his trunk levitating in front of him. Like a guideway.

His parents should be asleep, or at least in their bedroom right now and his brother would be long gone into unconsciousness by now. The boy could never stay awake for longer than until midnight.

He took a step down the staircase, cringing as the floorboards creaked under his weight. Damn this old house.

 Eventually Sirius made it to the living room, that was when his demeanour changed. His trunk dropped to the floor with a loud  _thump._ He cursed himself, cursed his trunk, cursed everything in the goddamn household because why the fuck are his parents awake?

Without looking up from her book, Walburga raised her hand and lured her eldest son forward with her finger "Come here, Sirius" she spoke slowly and emotionlessly, Ice lacing her speech like venom.

In a few long strides, Sirius met the woman's arm chair and stood tall in front of her. He stared at her, making sure not to lose eye contact. He had to focus: Focus on not showing that he was scared, focus on keeping his eyes stern, focus on keeping his breath steady. Focus on remaining completely and utterly calm.

 "Where do you think you're going?" She questioned. She was leaned back in the chair with both of her hands on the arms of the chair, her wand resting just in front of her right hand. "Do not make me repeat myself!"

Despite the yelling, Sirius remained silent. He stood tall and focused on his mother's cold eyes, on the way they bore deep into his head. He wasn't going to let her win, let her have the satisfaction of a reaction. But something in him ticked "Why would you care?" No no no Sirius stop "Wouldn't you be glad to be ridden of me? Waste of pureblood, disgrace to this family" what are you doing "Shame of your flesh, those were the words you used were they not?" He knew he was pushing it.

It was easy to feel the tension in the room, everyone seemed to sense that something was bound to happen. And yet Sirius stayed prominent. "What. Did. You. Just. Say?" Walburga asked slowly, venom lacing her tone, it was clear that she was already losing her extremely short temper.

Before he knew it, before he could even register the woman standing up until he was stumbling backwards with a stinging red mark on his cheek. He caught himself on the coffee table and lifted a slow hand to his skin.

"How dare you speak to me, your mother, that way!" She raised her voice as she slowly walked towards her eldest son. Her long, bony fingers enclosing around her wand as she raised it towards him. He didn't even have time to consider what was happening, she shrieked "CRUCIO!"

Sirius was thrown off of his feet as he bundled backwards over the coffee table, landing hard on the floor behind it. He writhed on the floor as red hot pain erupted from behind his skull, taking over his body in a matter of seconds. White light covered his vision and black spots danced along the edges.

He didn't even register the fact that he was screaming. He knew his mouth was open and he knew that sound was coming out but he couldn't hear anything but a loud ringing noise in his ears. He felt his fingers curling around the bristles of the carpet.

It was awful. It was as though every single one of Sirius' nerve endings had split apart, like his entire body was on fire, like he had been stabbed by a million knives. All at once. He had gone completely numb whilst feeling every embodiment of pain at the same time. It was enough to drive you insane.

But then it was all gone, leaving behind a painful tingling sensation. Voices.. Two voices were speaking back and forth. But he couldn't make out the people or the conversation taking place. His vision was slowly fading in but he could barely see.

Sirius caught sight of the golden embers of the dying fire in the fireplace, then the pot of floo powder to the side. The world was still fuzzy at the edges but he quickly formulated a plan. His hand made its way towards his pocket to try to find his wand.

He found it easily, seeing as it was almost always there and he had tucked it into there when his mother called him towards her. His satchel was still around his neck, threatening to choke him. He slowly crawled towards the fireplace, clearly his parents were too distracted because someone would have noticed by now.

Sirius grabbed a handful of floo powder, barely clinging onto consciousness. He raised his wand lazily, not really able to conjure a sense of direction but he knew what he was calling "Accio trunk" he slurred, his head was pounding and black spots were fading further into his vision.

His hand had barely closed around the handle of his trunk when he suddenly found his voice "The Potter's!" He yelled, his voice cracking in the process. The green flames licked at him and dragged him further and further down. It was too late for his parents to catch him now.

Spinning. It was a strange sensation: The way everything blurred together like one messy painting, the way your stomach lurches forward, the way you get so dizzy that you have to close your eyes to stop yourself from tumbling over or throwing up.

He stepped out at last, his knees buckling as he fell face first onto soft carpet, his body finally giving into unconsciousness. The world went black as he simply gave up. The last thing he heard was at least three voices screaming, shouting, yelling.

"Sirius!"


End file.
